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QUESTION:
funny story about bathing cats ~ pet owners will giggle lol?
Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick
themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in
their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk - dislodging the dirt
where it hides and whisking it away.
I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind
believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary - the
kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that
cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.
The time comes, however, when a man must face reality; when he must look
squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and
announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."
When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice
you might consider as you place your feline friend under you arm and head
for the bathtub:
* Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of
concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on
that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an
open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom.
If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get
in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were
about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk
cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician
can shift positions.)
* Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin
from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to
dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into
high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet,
a hockey face mask and a long-sleeve flak jacket.
* Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel
when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water.
Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make
sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the
water.
* Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to
simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your
strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If
he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a
product- testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)
* Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a
single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure,
slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with
shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats
have no handles.
Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically
compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more that two or three
seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give
him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free
and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national
record is - for cats - three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
* Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part
will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this
point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying
is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by
now the cat is semipermanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop
the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait.
(Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your
army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him
loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is
drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the
cat.
In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He
will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a
lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become
psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As
a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure
you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But, at least
now he smells a lot better.
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ANSWER:
Whilst quite amusing and informative your advice fails to take into consideration the aerodynamic capabilities of cats which, when augmented by the streamlining properties of water and applied lubricant ( shampoo) combine to make the cat
(a) friction free and
(b) faster than a speeding bullet.
This combination ( coupled with the cat's natural ability to defy gravity at will ) renders it easily capable of punching a hole through solid rock, bathroom tiles or your shower screen in the time it takes you to say "nice kitty"
Cat bathing is currently being investigated by the Insurance Society as to whether it should be classed as an "Extreme sport" or an "act of war"
Don't try this at home, folks.
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QUESTION:
Funny story about bathing cats ~ pet owners will giggle ?
Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick
themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in
their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk - dislodging the dirt
where it hides and whisking it away.
I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind
believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary - the
kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that
cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.
The time comes, however, when a man must face reality; when he must look
squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and
announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."
When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice
you might consider as you place your feline friend under you arm and head
for the bathtub:
* Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of
concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on
that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an
open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom.
If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get
in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were
about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk
cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician
can shift positions.)
* Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin
from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to
dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into
high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet,
a hockey face mask and a long-sleeve flak jacket.
* Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel
when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water.
Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make
sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the
water.
* Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to
simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your
strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If
he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a
product- testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)
* Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a
single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure,
slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with
shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats
have no handles.
Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically
compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more that two or three
seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give
him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free
and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national
record is - for cats - three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
* Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part
will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this
point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying
is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by
now the cat is semipermanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop
the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait.
(Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your
army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him
loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is
drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the
cat.
In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He
will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a
lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become
psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As
a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure
you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But, at least
now he smells a lot better.
-
QUESTION:
tricky lease and additional fee after renting..confused?
I moved into my apartment when the previous manager was present. He seemed like a nice guy and gave me a 'discount' on the rent. The apartment originally has a cat deposit but even though I told the signing manager that I have a cat he told me that my rent would be amount A per month. He wrote the monthly rent on the contract as amount A and we signed on it.
Odd thing was this manager retired 1 month after I moved in and a new manager took the place (same management, just a different person overseeing the building). 6 months after moving in the apartment, the new manager sends me a notice claiming I had had to pay the cat fee and I did not. I tried calling and explaining that I thought I had an agreement with the previous manager and that's what we had signed on. But he keeps on answering with the same answer (like he doesn't even hear me- I don't know if he doesn't understand where I'm coming from or just doesn't care) saying I have to pay extra to amount A monthly. He is also demanding that I pay what for the past 6 months. He told me it was not his authority to decide so I got the email for the managment owner.
I am a bit confused and disappointed in the situation. I wanted to have a good relationship with the manager but certain little things creep me and now I feel like I can't even trust them. Should I just pay the past cat fees and future fees or should I at least contact the management owner (which I now doubt will help much). Am I being unreasonable or is the management considering me as a pushover and taking advantage of it?
Additional Details
I checked the lease terms and there is not statement on the pet fee. However I did know that there originally was one. Also there is not statement about pets in the lease agreement as well. The original manager waived it with additional discount but did not state it in writing. However, for the security deposit, they have us pay for 1 month's rent in advance and on the lease agreement it is stated is amount A.
If I were to contact the management owner, do you think it would be a disadvantage to me for my next year's lease (like putting me on their black list)? I feel like even if I try they won't really bulge but if at least I show that I try they won't try to pick on me on other things in the future.
I checked the lease terms and there is not statement on the pet fee. However I did know that there originally was one. Also there is not statement about pets in the lease agreement as well. The original manager waived it with additional discount but did not state it in writing. However, for the security deposit, they have us pay for 1 month's rent in advance and on the lease agreement it is stated is amount A.
If I were to contact the management owner, do you think it would be a disadvantage to me for my next year's lease (like putting me on their black list)? I feel like even if I try they won't really bulge but if at least I show that I try they won't try to pick on me on other things in the future.
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QUESTION:
landlord asking for fee..?
I moved into my apartment when the previous manager was present. He seemed like a nice guy and gave me a 'discount' on the rent. The apartment originally has a cat deposit but even though I told the signing manager that I have a cat he told me that my rent would be amount A per month. He wrote the monthly rent on the contract as amount A and we signed on it.
Odd thing was this manager retired 1 month after I moved in and a new manager took the place (same management, just a different person overseeing the building). 6 months after moving in the apartment, the new manager sends me a notice claiming I had had to pay the cat fee and I did not. I tried calling and explaining that I thought I had an agreement with the previous manager and that's what we had signed on. But he keeps on answering with the same answer (like he doesn't even hear me- I don't know if he doesn't understand where I'm coming from or just doesn't care) saying I have to pay extra to amount A monthly. He is also demanding that I pay what for the past 6 months. He told me it was not his authority to decide so I got the email for the managment owner.
I am a bit confused and disappointed in the situation. I wanted to have a good relationship with the manager but certain little things creep me and now I feel like I can't even trust them. Should I just pay the past cat fees and future fees or should I at least contact the management owner (which I now doubt will help much). Am I being unreasonable or is the management considering me as a pushover and taking advantage of it?
I checked the lease terms and there is not statement on the pet fee. However I did know that there originally was one. Also there is not statement about pets in the lease agreement as well. The original manager waived it with additional discount but did not state it in writing. However, for the security deposit, they have us pay for 1 month's rent in advance and on the lease agreement it is stated is amount A.
If I were to contact the management owner, do you think it would be a disadvantage to me for my next year's lease (like putting me on their black list)? I feel like even if I try they won't really bulge but if at least I show that I try they won't try to pick on me on other things in the future.
I checked the lease terms and there is not statement on the pet fee. However I did know that there originally was one. Also there is not statement about pets in the lease agreement as well. The original manager waived it with additional discount but did not state it in writing. However, for the security deposit, they have us pay for 1 month's rent in advance and on the lease agreement it is stated is amount A.
If I were to contact the management owner, do you think it would be a disadvantage to me for my next year's lease (like putting me on their black list)? I feel like even if I try they won't really bulge but if at least I show that I try they won't try to pick on me on other things in the future.
thank you for your answers so far! I'm still learning so all your opinions are helpful in formulating my perspective.
thank you for your answers so far! I'm still learning so all your opinions are helpful in formulating my perspective.
For those of you who can't understand what I am trying to say, the point is, I am upset on the fact that the original manager and current manager are asking for different things. I was willing to pay the pet fee but the original manager only had me pay amount A per month. It was his courtesy and our agreement.
The new guy is demanding that I pay for something that is out of our agreement. I told him about the situation and lease agreement but he doesnt care and just claims that the fee is something additional to the lease agreement.
To me this sounds like a sneaky backhand demand and feeling trapped, I was hoping you could provide advice to wisely handle this. Again, I am not complaining about the fee itself.
Regardless, I have lost trust in the management through this incident and will make sure everyone around me knows unless I see some change.
For those of you who can't understand what I am trying to say, the point is, I am upset on the fact that the original manager and current manager are asking for different things. I was willing to pay the pet fee but the original manager only had me pay amount A per month. It was his courtesy and our agreement.
The new guy is demanding that I pay for something that is out of our agreement. I told him about the situation and lease agreement but he doesnt care and just claims that the fee is something additional to the lease agreement.
To me this sounds like a sneaky backhand demand and feeling trapped, I was hoping you could provide advice to wisely handle this. Again, I am not complaining about the fee itself.
Regardless, I have lost trust in the management through this incident and will make sure everyone around me knows unless I see some change.
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ANSWER:
You are in a bit of a bind. You can play hardball and say that the pet fee isn't mentioned in the lease, and therefore you refuse to pay it. The problem is that if you do that, the can say "Fine... the cat is not included on the lease, so now you have X amount of time to get rid of it". Because if the lease doesn't say that pets are ok, the assumption is that they are NOT. If I were you, I'd just go ahead and pay it, and perhaps think about moving when the lease is up if it bothers you that much. But where I live, that's cheap. I'm used to non-refundable deposits ranging from 0 and up, and pet rent on top of that, so this is dirt cheap.
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QUESTION:
Move or stay put. please help me decide?
right now i rent a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo for 50 + utilities. the landlord has offered me this discount to stick around on a month-to-month basis. she intends to sell the unit so could just ask me to pick up and go in a month's notice. this type of unit would normally rent for close to k a month or more.
advantages of staying put is not having to move which is pretty big. i also have a garage to myself and an in-unit washer/dryer and walk-in closet. the bad things: it's not the best location, there have been some car vandalisms and gunshots heard. stray cats all over the place that get their paw prints all over the cars that are parked outside. plus again, the landlord could just ask me to up and leave anytime since it's month-to-month. the other thing is my girlfriend doesn't like it here and rarely visits me coz she doesn't feel safe. i always have to go to her.
i found a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment for 00 a month + utilities. good things: much better location near a major shopping center and lower rent. the area seems to be better kept and safer. it'd be on at least a 6 month lease. and my girlfriend already says she likes it and will spend more time at my place versus hers. bad things: no garage and no washer/dryer inside. and having to move which i hate. only 0 less than i'm paying now.
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ANSWER:
This is a very personal question and you are the only one who can really answer it.
I suggest that you go with the month to month lease and look seriously for a better location with a garage and the washer-dryer unit inside. Remember the month to month works both ways so you only have to give a two week notice.
Find something you and your girlfriend really like. You have time and are not tied to a long lease. By the way you can aways hire a moving company to pack up your stuff, move it and unpack it. Call around and get some quotes.
